How I Met Your Mother is a show that lives and dies on the interpersonal relationships of its core cast and the believability of their friendships. After all, how are we supposed to believe they all go to Robots Vs. Wrestlers together if we don’t even believe they’re real friends?
The problem is, while the show may constantly be telling us how close the core group is, it doesn’t always demonstrate that level of friendship in the character’s actions. One particular example of this is the friendship between Ted Mosby and Lily Aldrin. The shows central bachelor and his best friend’s wife may have known each other since college, and they may constantly insist they’re friends, but if you look at their actions towards one another throughout the show you get a very different story.
Lily Leaves Ted At The Side Of The Road
Let’s say, hypothetically, that you’re about to go on a date with someone you believe to be perfect for you, and you abandon said date because a friend needs you while making a life-changing decision. You’re a good friend, so you drop everything to be there for them. Then in return, this friend freaks out and ditches you by the side of the road far from anywhere. Would you say that person was your friend?
That’s exactly what Lily did to Ted during the first season of the show, episode “Milk” when she found out that she’d been offered an interview for an art fellowship. Ted ends up never going back to his perfect date. That’s not something real friends do to each other.
Lily Leaves Marshall to Pursue Her Dreams
In one of the shows biggest twists, Lily calls off her engagement with Marshall to pursue her career as an artist. Moments of monumental choice like this are just a fact of life and choosing her dreams over her fiancé doesn’t make Lily a bad person. Leaving Ted to pick up the pieces does make her a bad friend though.
Lily’s absence sends Marshall into a downward spiral that completely consumes Ted’s life, and through it all Lily is completely absent, cutting ties not only with her ex-fiancé but also Ted. Something he’s genuinely hurt by, and she has to be pushed to apologize for, like a bad friend.
Ted Calls Lily a “Grinch”
How I Met Your Mother uses the framing device of Future Ted telling his children the story of his life, and as a result often uses code words for some of the gangs less than PG antics. In season 2 episode “How Lily Stole Christmas,” following Lily and Marshall’s breakup, it is revealed that during her absence Ted referred to her as a “Grinch”.
Obviously “Grinch” is a cover for a much less friendly insult that you might label your best friend’s ex with. Ted claims he only resorted to grotesque name-calling to help Marshall through the breakup, but even when Lily returns he doesn’t apologize and even doubles down dropping the G-Bomb again. Not something a friend would do.
Lily Steals From Ted’s Boss
In the season 2 episode titled “Aldrin Justice” Ted does Lily a massive favor by getting her a job at the architecture firm for which he is currently working. At the time Lily was pretty lost in life, having recently returned from San Fransico and working a hilarious job in a Hawaiian themed restaurant, so this was no small favor. How did Lily thank Ted? By stealing from his boss.
Granted, Hammond Druthers was a condescending “Grinch”, but the stunt still almost got Ted and many others at the firm fired. Not exactly the way a real friend would thank you for getting them employed.
Ted Brings Random Girls To Lily’s Events Unannounced
A constant theme throughout the show is Ted’s journey to finding The One, something that takes him more than a handful of tries to get right. Something evident in the season 5 episode “Say Cheese”, in which it’s revealed that over the years Ted has been bringing women he barely knows to landmark events in the gang’s history.
This on its own isn’t too bad, maybe one of these girls might have been The One, but the fact that he often brings them completely without warning and can’t even remember most of these girl’s names really crosses a line. While he’s initially offended when Lily takes him on a trip down “Random Skank Lane” it’s not just obvious Ted’s a bad friend, but a bad person.
Lily Breaks Ted Up With So Many People
In season 4 episode “The Front Porch” it’s revealed that what many of what Ted thought had been freak break-ups out of his control had actually been instigated entirely by Lily. While yes, breaking Ted up with Karen might be the biggest favor anyone has ever done him, most of those girls were nice and one of them was Robin.
Her excuse is that she can’t see these girls joining herself, Ted, and Marshall on the front porch in their twilight years for cups of tea and games of bridge. It’s a pretty selfish reason to put Ted through that heartbreak, and she doesn’t even know how to play bridge.
Ted Tries To Stop Lily Moving Into The Apartment…
Throughout the show’s nine seasons the cast rotates around the same apartment above MacLaren’s Pub, but originally it was just populated by Ted and Marshall. In the season 1 episode “The Duel” Lily’s apartment gets turned into a Chinese restaurant, and following Ted’s suggestion she moves in with him and Marshal.
She also brings all of her stuff and starts to replace some of Ted’s older, broken possessions with ones that actually work. Sounds great, right? Not according to Ted, who begins to act like a diva because he had sentimental value for his old tat. Even having a sword fight with Marshall over it that doesn’t end well.
…Which Results In Lily Getting Stabbed
As previously mentioned, Ted acting like a diva over Lily doing him a favor results in a swordfight between him and Marshall. When the swordfight gets out of hand and Marshall stands on the coffee table, which breaks under his weight, Lily ends up with a sword to the shoulder.
No one that gets you stabbed is your friend. It’s simple self-preservation, Ted’s lack of forethought and childish behavior almost gets Lily killed. Not something a real friend would do.
Ted Forces His Way Into Lily’s Couple’s Costumes
Everyone has that annoying person that acts like its okay for them to push their way in on your plans. While sometimes they’re actually a friend that can be forgiven, other times they’re just annoying and you silently wonder if they should know better.
The season 7 episode “The Stilton Missile Crisis” is all about Ted being the third wheel in Lily and Marshall’s relationship, even showing their classic Halloween costumes such as salt, pepper, and cumin. A real friend would know boundaries, just saying.
Ted Lies About Making Out With Lily
Sometimes long term couples embellish the details of the story of their first meeting, it happens. What doesn’t usually happen is a friend laying claim to actually being the reason they met in the first place because they made out with one of the two the night before.
Ted does exactly this in season 3 episode “How I Met Everyone Else” Ted claims that there’s some fiction in the story of Lily and Marshal’s first meeting. Claiming that Lily was actually looking for Ted at the dorm room he and Marshall shared because they made out the night before. Turns out Ted was misremembering and instead of talking to the couple about this awkwardness years before, held onto the secret most likely because he’s a bad friend.
