Long-running sitcom How I Met Your Mother was, at heart, a romance - the story of how a man met the woman who would be the love of his life. However, there was so much more to the series than this, to the extent that the titular Mother was barely a part of the show before being killed off!
HIMYM taught fans that love doesn’t just pertain to romance. It’s also about the love for family, friends, and most importantly, ourselves. Ted’s monologues to his kids, along with his interactions with the other beloved characters, made for some fantastic quotes many of us can reflect upon.
“Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”
After Stella leaves Ted at the altar, he struggles to figure out how long it will take for him to get over it - as shown in this quote from the episode ‘The Naked Man’. Everyone in the gang has a different opinion, of course, with that ranging from theories based on the length of the relationship (Lily and Marshall, who go for half the length or one week per month), to a thousand drinks (Robin), to no time at all (Barney).
This whole conversation is a phenomenal quote for the show, perfectly summing up the characters, but it’s more than that. It shows that, as Ted says, no one can agree on one right way to get over someone. Love can be tough, and dealing with a breakup is never going to be easy - or as straightforward as a mathematical equation.
“Some couples always support each other, and some couples always challenge each other. But is one really better than the other? Yes. Support is better. Way better."
Ted and Zoey have a complicated relationship - and one where the two are constantly arguing. And when they end up comparing themselves to Lily and Marshall, who rarely argue and are always there for each other, Ted gets defensive. At first, he tries to argue that he and Zoey challenge each other, and that’s a good thing… but over time, he realizes how exhausting the constant arguments and debates are.
He may not always make the best choices in love, but with this quote, he is definitely hitting on a truth - that while some debate may be a good thing, support in a partnership is non-negotiable.
“You can’t cling to the past. Because no matter how tightly you hold on, it’s already gone."
All of the characters in How I Met Your Mother were guilty of holding onto the past sometimes - and this beautiful quote from Ted comes in the episode ‘Something Old’ when they all must learn to let go. Ted has been holding on to Robin, Robin is worrying about her marriage, Lily and Marshall are moving to Rome and Ted fears he will be forgotten… but in the end, they all realize that it’s time to simply trust.
All of the characters went on journeys that allowed them to forget the past and just look forward - and this is an important lesson. For anyone, learning how to let go of past relationships and move forward is a big deal, but a part of growing up.
“Kids, when you’re in a new relationship and you’re competing with your ex for who’s happier, it can get ugly.”
Ted and Robin’s complicated history comes to the fore, here, when they end up verbally competing over who is happier; Ted and Victoria, or Robin and Nick. In ‘Nannies’, Robin and Ted start by claiming they are both perfectly happy, but end by admitting that things are not going as well as they could be (and, as future Ted reveals, both relationships will end within a month).
Love should never be a competition, especially with an ex. And this episode makes a very good point - that when a relationships starts being something to prove or show off to other people, it’s definitely not a good sign!
“Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
In ‘The Wedding Bride’, Ted realizes that he has more emotional baggage than he thought - mostly from being left at the altar by Stella. When the movie The Wedding Bride becomes a huge hit, he is forced to relive his trauma, and it severely impacts his new relationship. In the end, though, he realizes that his new girlfriend has her own baggage - and that maybe it’s not as dire as he thinks to have some history.
As the quote suggests, everyone has some sort of baggage in their life. No matter what that is, though, it doesn’t mean that someone isn’t deserving of love. Ted may not find love in this episode, but he will by the end of the series.
“People don’t get the chance to discover each other anymore.”
This episode sees Ted decide to try and find some mystery by not googling a new date. Ted had the right idea of not doing any online research beforehand, unfortunately, Robin and Barney weren’t going to let that slide and told Ted all there was to know about her. It led to a fantastically funny episode, and a great debate about allowing ‘mystery’ in dating - something that definitely makes a difference.
While it’s unlikely that many people would find themselves on a date with someone quite as intimidating as Janet in ‘Mystery Vs History’, Ted still has a point. Getting to know someone slowly, in an age of speed and social media, has real value… but is truly difficult.
“You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger…”
What Stella did to Ted was just awful and it would stay with him for years - but in the episode ‘Happily Ever After’, he finally starts to selflessly let go of his breakup with Stella, and delivers this incredible quote.
“You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face, but there’s a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.”
He’s been struggling with hanging on to his anger, and here was intending to go yell at Stella over what she did to him, but instead, he realizes that this wouldn’t do anything. It wouldn’t take back what she did, and it wouldn’t make him any happier. Once again, the lessons that Ted learns translate beautifully to the real world.
“Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride.”
There are a lot of relationship endings in How I Met Your Mother, and a lot of the time, it seems like that’s a terrible thing - but as Ted points out in ‘Ted Mosby: Architect’, just because something doesn’t lead to a happy ending, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth it. There is little doubt that he would consider his relationship with Robin worth it, even though they didn’t work out until the very end. Similarly, Barney and Robin may have ended up divorced, but they too, were worth it.
For a show that is so focused on finding love and on the eventual happy ending, it’s a wonderful lesson to remind viewers that the ending isn’t the only important thing.
“If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality…”
This one hits hard for Ted but it was finally time he said it. Even days before Robin’s wedding, he admits that he still loves her and wants nothing more than to make sure she’s happy, even if it means he doesn’t get to be with her. Seeing him come to terms with Robin being with Barney is definitely one of the saddest and most emotional moments on the show.
“If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love.”
The reality of life is that not everyone is going to feel the same way about the people that love them. But this quote really brings home the idea that just because a romantic love isn’t possible, it doesn’t mean that caring for someone is also impossible. Of course, this is Ted, so it’s also a bit overdramatic!
If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?"
Robin and Barney have a long road to actually being in a relationship - one that starts in ‘Definitions’, when Robin forces them to define their relationship, and Ted drops this gem of a quote. Here, is makes the point that love can be about taking a risk on a person - and on a relationship that isn’t guaranteed to succeed.
While Ted himself often fails to take this into account in his own relationships, sometimes becoming jaded or worried about taking the leap, he is usually a character who embodies optimism and hope. He’s always willing to take a chance on love.
“Love is totally nonsensical…”
“Love” is used in so many stories, yet no one can actually define what love is, and that shouldn’t matter. As Ted puts it, love is the best thing people do. Whether it’s for family, friends, or romantic partners, it’s always possible to center love.
“Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.”
This particular quote comes in the episode ‘The End Of The Aisle’, where every couple has their own struggles, but really shows how Ted clings to hope, and to optimism, no matter what. It is a sweet moment, and for Ted, who often gets quite gloomy about how much love ‘hurts’, this is a surprisingly positive one.
“Shouldn’t we hold out for the person who doesn’t just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?”
Ted was always finding the wrong woman - and in ‘Double Date’, he managed to find the wrong woman twice - on two blind dates with the same one! In both dates, though, the two don’t work out because they each have quirks that the other dislikes, and even though Ted thinks about trying to make it work regardless, he soon realizes that this isn’t what he really wants.
Ted and Tracy were perfect for each other since they appreciated each other’s quirks and weirdness. This is another hopeful moment, especially for those who may struggle with the idea that they aren’t finding love as quickly as they want to. Ted holds out for someone who is truly going to like every part of him - and this gives fans hope that they can, too.
“You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever…"
This is what HIMYM was all about. Ted says this in ‘Gary Blauman’, talking about an old friend who disappeared from their lives, but it is (of course) true of many friends and colleagues. As time goes by, it can be difficult to keep in touch with old friends, but when someone really matters, it’s possible to make the effort to avoid drifting apart.
“You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it."
The entire gang manages this in the show, from Lily, Ted, and Marshall staying friends since college, to managing to stay close to Robin despite her travels, and even managing to prevent breakups and complicated romantic histories from getting in the way.
